Moving house with children: how to break the news
If you’re moving house with children, it’s important to break the news to them in a way that helps them cope with the upheaval. The prospect of moving is usually exciting and daunting for adults, but as children take little part in the process, moving house can leave them feeling confused and powerless. Here’s how to break the news to them to give them the reassurance and confidence to cope with the change from the familiar to the unknown.
Talk to your children early in the process
There’s a lot to do when moving, so it’s easy to get too preoccupied with practical problems and logistical issues to consider the effect it is having on children. Children have no big-picture understanding of what’s happening or how it will change their lives. So it’s important to break the news to them as soon as you know you are definitely moving so they have time to adapt and adjust to the idea.
Take a positive approach
Children pay attention to emotional cues at any age, so start the conversation by taking a positive and excited approach to breaking the news. Take time to sit down when you’re all ready to discuss the subject. Make sure there are no distractions, like phones, so you have a good opportunity to talk and answer their questions.
When you announce that you’re moving, provide the positive reasons for moving instead of any negative ones, like you have no choice about moving. Listen to their questions and provide reassuring answers.
Positive reasons to move can include:
- Being closer to friends and family.
- Having access to better amenities like parks, pools and shops.
- Having space for a pet.
- The chance to join groups or sports clubs or do new activities.
- The chance to have bigger or separate bedrooms.
- Going to a better school.
- The chance to make new friends.
Keep them informed throughout the process
Breaking the news becomes an ongoing conversation with your children throughout the process. Children are often more aware than we believe and will sense if you’re having issues. Explain what’s happening at every stage, give them time to adjust to the news and provide reassuring answers to any questions.
Acclimatise your children to the move if possible
If you can get your children accustomed to the changes before they happen, you’ll remove a big portion of their uncertainty. The best way to do this is to take every opportunity to acclimatise them to their new surroundings.
Here are some examples of activities you can do together:
- Take them for a visit to their new school.
- Visit the parks and amenities that are nearby your new home.
- Get them enrolled with a group, at a sports club or doing a new activity.
- Visit the local shops or a cafe for a treat.
It isn’t uncommon to get resistance
School-aged children often provide resistance to moving if they are leaving their friends and the social groups they identify with at school. Providing extra understanding and support may not be enough to deal with their concerns. If you can, encourage your children to maintain contact with their closest friends while making opportunities to meet new ones.
Moving house as a family is a task nobody envies, but sometimes moving is unavoidable. If you can leave as much of the job as you can to the professionals, you’ll have more time to concentrate on the most important aspect of moving, which is ensuring your family are prepared the best to make the change.